cameraIn just a couple of weeks I am shooting my first short film (that I wrote) since the end of 2013. Seriously, like a year and a half.

I call myself a filmmaker… but where are the films? A couple of months ago I was at a broadcast/media convention and really didn’t have something I was actually working on. (I ended up pumping a work project.) I pitched some script ideas, but nothing was in the works. It was a weird feeling.

So now I am about to actually shoot something, and I find myself dreading it at times.

I felt the same way when I was about to release the pilot of my show. Filled with self doubt and fear. Even thought it wasn’t a financial success, it is still being broadcast 2 years after we stopped making episodes. (Every Saturday on Parables TV​) Stupid fear.

Fear keeps dreams from reality. Fear is the enemy of creativity. Fear is a big, ugly bully who needs a punch in the face. (To reference Jon Acuff.)

it’s not the film I had planned to shoot. But this is a good script, about a pertinent issue. It’s a first step in building a filmmaking community here in East TX. There is literally nothing stopping me but my own fears. So here we go!


2 thoughts on “Gutcheck

  1. I experience the exact same thing. Satan loves to get in there and hammer at your self-doubt. You think things like, “I don’t have the time, talent, money, etc…to do this.” “No one is interested in this.” “Who am I to do this?”

    And on and on…..

    When I get like this i think,

    “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

    It’s not MY job, MY talent, MY vision, MY effort, MY time, MY money. And, thank GOD it’s not. :o)

  2. Anna Rounseville

    I hear you Scott, I have a friend who wrote a book about God’s favor called “Have I Ever Told You, You’re My Favorite” in it she talks about some of this. How we don’t think we’re good enough etc. But God’s already for us. Anyways what you wrote reminded me of that. I think I heard it said that a positive thought and a negative thought cannot be experienced by the brain at the exact same moment. You get to choose. Have fun with your newest projects, seeing your work you prob have more than one on a back burner somewhere. 😀

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